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Posts Tagged ‘Bar-B-Que’

Mr. President

Mr. President

“T-Ray” Rayburne here everyone, happy to be ‘rappin’ at ya!

I know times are tough.  Everyone’s struggling to put food on the dinner table or fuel in their third jet, and the SuperEuro just doesn’t go as far as it used to in the shadow economy.  You’ve got to squeeze every penny, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still please your palette.

And in that frame of mind I want to treat my Stuff You Need custome…no, no, my Stuff You Need FRIENDS.

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Yep, I have decided to open up my private stock of incredibly scarce IRRAWADDY DOLPHINS for you to liven up your next BBQ!

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Nature's delicious majesty

Nature's delicious majesty

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Sure, every red-blooded American loves burgers and hot dogs are fine for the kids, but they simply won’t lift the spirits of a down home cow poke on bail for securities fraud.  What he needs is the fine, succulent taste that only dolphin, fresh off the grill, can provide.

And not just any idiot net-caught dolphin, these spicy Irrawaddy dolphins are direct from the sub-continent.  Rare?  You bet, but hell, serve ‘em however you like!  After all, swimming in that Bangladeshinine water makes the meat so tender, it’s fall off the fin delicious.

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……Order some today and we’ll airlift them straight to your front door, all prepped for grillin’, and with a complimentary apple stuffed in the blowhole.

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……And now don’t you ever say that ole’ T-Ray never did anything for his friends or wildlife.  Especially to a DHS agent.

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