Posts Tagged ‘Lightening’

"I’d keep playing. I don’t think the heavy stuff’s gonna come down for quite some time now."

One of the most maddening sounds any golfer will ever hear is the air horn blistering the sky on the 7th green as they’re in the middle of the best round of their life:

…You: “Really?  Now?  I have to come in right NOW? Or I’ll be roasted by a bolt of lighting?  But the sky is perfectly clear over there, several miles away…



Trust us, our scorecard feels your pain.
But now let Stuff You Need be your caddy in life’s greatest game and bring you this new, PGA Rules committee-pending device: The SLICER.  Just attach the 10 kilo, solid titanium scrambox to your bag and swing your big rods without fear.

Once activated, the suronucletic core located in the box will generate plasma bursts at an incredible rate, forming a roughly man sized filamentation shield around you and your clubs.  The moment any lighting strikes you, the Slicer will violently curve it away and into the nearest grounded object, be it pin, cart or Todd, who just won’t shut up during your backswing.

You can thank you old friend lasers for the source of this trick: for some scientastic reason, they just totally Tiger-slap lighting bolts around until they’re begging for mercy on the back nine.


So make storm clouds your Mickelson and get The SLICER: Cause when you’re taking skins off your buddies like a tanner, you don’t need ‘Old Lady Nature’ toasting your balls.

Keep 'em safe and dry.


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