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Posts Tagged ‘Secretary of Defense’

Secretary of Defense Robert Gates Ah, well, ok everyone, as you’ve probably heard by now….we’re kind of FUBAR.

Secretary of Defense Gates (a truly lovely man) took a freakin battle-ax to the new military budget and…well, he…god, I can barely say it….

He killed off some of the coolest future weapons and most amazing, insane military hardware you could ever dream of!

Sigh…but that’s ok…wars are changing.  And that, that just means that we, Synthetic Bio-Technologies and Heavy Volatile Weapons Incorporated (COS-YES), have to change with it.

That’s why today, we’re proud to announce our new sales effort through the re-branded STUFF YOU NEED!

Check back several times a week to see the fantasticly repurposed armaments, technology, and all around biowarf…ah, bio-wonderful! stuff we’re going to be selling at rock bottom prices.

On our About page, you can meet the entire team and here you’ll find a letter from our very dear leader, Thaddeus T. Rayburne IV (“T-Ray”), welcoming you to this brave new world with the promise of a trilonian death ray in every garage.

Really, our future’s so bright, you’d have sworn a small yield nuke detonated in the upper atmosphere.

Come join us, won’t you?

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